Learning to Feel Safe: Understanding the nervous system and trauma

We all have a nervous system that is beautifully designed to keep us safe. There are two significant parts of the autonomic nervous system that are beneficial to understand.

• the parasympathetic nervous system ("PNS") is the part of the nervous system that allows us to feel calm. It is sometimes known as the "rest and digest" part of the nervous system. The PNS allows us to relax and conserve our energy. Let's refer to this as the "Calm Zone".

• The sympathetic Nervous System ("SNS") is the part of the nervous system that kicks into gear when we sense danger. This part of the nervous system is sometimes known as the "fight or flight". When the SNS is activated, the body prepares for action, which includes an increased heart rate, dilation of pupils, airway muscles are relaxed (to allow more oxygen to the lungs), and digestion slows (to use that energy for survival). In addition, cortisol and adrenaline are released (both stress hormones that help the body react to stress). Let's refer to this as the "Danger Zone".

In an ideal situation, your body would sense danger (a bear in the woods), your SNS (aka Danger Zone) would kick into gear (allowing all your energy to go into escaping the danger), and then once you have escaped the danger, you would shift back into the PNS (aka Calm Zone). This is a nervous system that is operating in an adaptive way.

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This is great when we encounter a bear in the woods.

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"But what happens when the bear comes home every night, and the system is activated over and over and over again?", a quote by Nadine Burke Harris in her TED talk on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

Not only is the nervous system operating in a maladaptive way, this type of long-term exposure to stress and danger can also create chronic health issues in children (and adults).

When someone was exposed to dangerous and stressful experiences again and again in childhood, their nervous system becomes wired to anticipate danger constantly. They are rarely able to move into the calm zone (PNS).

Additionally, in today's world, so often people's bodies are constantly sensing danger. In my opinion, this is caused by constant exposure to terrible things (breaking news, social media, fear-based reporting). Stress and danger are everywhere you look, if you are looking through a screen. When this happens, the SNS stays activated most of the time, which causes a lot of problems both psychologically and physically. When i see someone with chronic anxiety or panic disorder, i see a dysregulated nervous system.

As a trauma therapist, it has become apparent that logic doesn't calm a dysregulated nervous system. When we think of working through trauma, it is important to understand the brain.

• The left side of the brain is logical and orderly. it makes sense of things and carries timeline and narrative story.

• The right side of our brain is the part of the brain that is emotional and carries the felt-sense of experiences. It is the side that is responsible for creativity and intuition.

When trauma occurs, the communication between the two sides of the brain isn't working properly.

• If your left brain is taking over, you might be stuck in logic and the story of the trauma, but feel numb or feel disconnected from what happened to you.

• If your right brain is dominating, you might be overcome with emotion, panic or anxiety, feel incredible distress in your body, and yet not know why you feel the way you do or are unable to logically grasp what is happening.

Effective trauma therapy will help begin to bridge the two hemispheres of the brain.

In addition to talk therapy and telling the story, we work to also therapeutically work on the emotions and felt-sense of the experience in the body. There are many interventions that are helpful in trauma work, including EMDR, somatic therapy (which is body-based), Polyvagal Therapy, increasing the window of tolerance, and Regulating techniques (learning how to activate a shut-down nervous system and calm an activated nervous system).

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One of the most important factors in trauma work is to feel a sense of safety. A dysregulated nervous system continually has a "felt-sense" of danger; a regulated nervous system mostly has a "felt-sense" of safety.

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This is why the relationship with your therapist is so important. Often when a person experiences trauma, especially childhood trauma, they feel alone. When asking "How did you find comfort and safety when you went through something stressful?", so many people respond that there was no one to offer comfort or safety. In the therapeutic office, it is my goal to offer that safety and comfort (that they may never have had) before, during and after trauma work.

An effective trauma therapist is going to help you learn how to regulate your nervous system so that you can return to the calm zone (PNS) if you are in the danger zone (SNS).

If I can leave you with one thing after reading this, it is this: there is hope, there is healing, and you can learn to feel safe and calm. It takes work, and it takes time, but if you commit to the process, it is possible.